The longer I live here, the more unsure I am about calling this not-so-new country, my home. I didn't think so for the first 2 years and then in my 3rd year, I thought hmm..well, it could be after a while... 4 years on and I have decided that I'm done.
There's nothing wrong with The Netherlands. I like how easygoing working life is, I enjoy being an employee here and I admire how much help the unemployed, the physically/mentally challenged and poor people receive from the government. Tertiary education is made available to everyone (pretty much for free as tuition is 1600 euros per year but student receive a minimum of 250 euro per month) and pressure to succeed is so much lesser than back home.
This is not my home. I have come to the conclusion that at the end of the day, it's the people who matter. People surrounding me in Malaysia are so nice to me. I don't know and I can't explain why but everytime I go back, I realize it again. The Dutchman agrees (they are nice to him too). Here, while I do have friends (both Dutch and foreign- Dutchman and I have separate friends) and a 'family' (ie. Dutchman's), it doesn't feel 'natural'. Thing is, this probably isn't their fault. They are nice enough. I think it's just a case of being used to 'better'.
Maybe I'm just tired of feeling patronized upon ( many Dutch people always think my life here is so much better because I'm from a 3rd world country). Or maybe, I'm a capitalist at heart. It's difficult to be motivated when the rewards are so little. Maybe I'm just bored and am itching to move to a different country.
Maybe I just miss my life back home (temporarily).
Maybe the grass is just greener on the other side of the fence.
It could also be a case of PMS.
In any event, I can't do much until I graduate. Dutchman (who loves everything Dutch and at one point, wanted to live here forever and ever) says he wants to live in Malaysia as well (he initiated the discussion!). Obviously this is something we'll have to think through and we'll only do it if the right opportunities are available. After all, moving to Malaysia will probably mean a pretty large paycut (euro-RM) and while we don't mind that, we would like to have a better quality life there (if not, what's the point of moving) so we either have to win the lottery or get really good jobs! Luckily, the Dutchman has some pretty niche skills so that shouldn't be too hard.
In the meantime, Prague will be a nice distraction;)