Monday, 25 April 2011

Getting Depressed

I don't know what it is but The Netherlands gets me down. I've lived here for about 5 years now and I still don't like it. Sometimes I think it's OK and I definitely see the good sides but it's just so empty. It is so boring. I don't have a life, just an existence. I've never really felt like this about any other country before and the whole time, whether I'm in the bus or when out with people, I just want to shout "THIS IS A SHITHOLE, THIS IS A SHITHOLE AND I AM LIVING HERE ONLY BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND IS DUTCH, NOT BECAUSE IT'S A BETTER LIFE!".

I just don't know what's else there is for us. And for me. It's like OK, general unhappiness and crabbiness but I have 'things' to do- finish school, get married, have babies, grow old. But what else? Dutchman is doing exceedingly well in his career now and he's such a kampung (village) boy who doesn't really want to move abroad. If we move elsewhere, same thing- only this time, I'm happy and he isn't.

What a dilemma;-) Hope I stop harping on this soon.


Anonymous said...

Just discovered your blog by coincidence and am liking it! As a S'porean Chinese married to a German in Germany, I can identify with many dilemmas of yours in the Netherlands. Loved your yummy photos and recipes here. Keep up the good work!

Esmee said...

I have pretty much the same sentiments as u. It was quite a culture shock from an active social life to a quiet existence here. I tried to look on the positive side - the liberal life, the abundance of private space, career opportunities, etc.

Still, if I could turn back the clock, I would trade it all in for the warmth of my family n friends.

seri nyonya said...

Hey guys,

Thanks for your encouragement. I try to stay positive as well. I just hope I get a job after I graduate because I live in the boonies where there are no international companies. Don't know if the international companies in Randstad will be willing to pay for my transport card/lease car or not!

Anonymous said...

It's all about negotiations and selling yourself(in a positive way, of course)! So lots of success and good luck to you in your job search after graduation. Isn't it difficult learning, studying and writing in the Dutch language? That must have been such a feat! And I thought it was tough learning German and having it as a language of communication at work and at home.

Anonymous said...

Hi there!

I'm an Australian with a Dutch boyfriend and I completely understand what you mean about Holland. You really explained the emptiness so well. I haven't been in Holland for nearly as long as you have but I find it so depressing. Luckily for me my boyfriend was open to moving so we are currently looking for jobs in London (close to Holland, much more exciting and job opportunities for both of us), but it hasn't been easy and it took me almost a year to convince him.

Maybe you could convince your fiance to move to a bigger city but still be in Holland? I know if we were living in Amsterdam then I probably would've enjoyed Holland more but living in the south I was bored out of my mind and grumpy all the time!

Congratulations on the engagement!