I don't know what it is but The Netherlands gets me down. I've lived here for about 5 years now and I still don't like it. Sometimes I think it's OK and I definitely see the good sides but it's just so empty. It is so boring. I don't have a life, just an existence. I've never really felt like this about any other country before and the whole time, whether I'm in the bus or when out with people, I just want to shout "THIS IS A SHITHOLE, THIS IS A SHITHOLE AND I AM LIVING HERE ONLY BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND IS DUTCH, NOT BECAUSE IT'S A BETTER LIFE!".
I just don't know what's else there is for us. And for me. It's like OK, general unhappiness and crabbiness but I have 'things' to do- finish school, get married, have babies, grow old. But what else? Dutchman is doing exceedingly well in his career now and he's such a kampung (village) boy who doesn't really want to move abroad. If we move elsewhere, same thing- only this time, I'm happy and he isn't.
What a dilemma;-) Hope I stop harping on this soon.